A selection of our most popular gifts and special offers for you to order online

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The B.L.A. commemorative plate
A Heartfelt tribute to the brave men of the B.L.A., brought to life in a signature edition commemorative porcelain style plate. Now you can honour them with 'Self Contained' a magnificent collectors plate from acclaimed plate artist Sveti Clitoris. In the tradition of the most prized collectibles, this heirloom collector plate is crafted from the finest quality fibrous cellulose a combination of sawdust, newspaper pulp wallpaper paste and re-cycled Chlorate tubs. Each plate is painstakingly printed and a hand painted border is applied by Indonesian rent boys. The Artist - Sveti Clitoris was born in 1965. In 1981 he received a grade 4 CSE in art from shipton Collage of further education and his work features prominently in collections across the UK, notably in Happy Eater and Little Chef.

ONLY £19.99     more details


  Duck boots
Originally designed by NASA for the failed 1987 Mars landing, Duck Boots remain at the height footwear technology. Now you can be the proud owner of these amazing new boots. Why not order a pair today for yourself or a friend, we guarantee you wont regret it!


ONLY £49.99     more details


Now there is no excuse for loosing those extra pounds, thanks to this fantastic new diet pill  developed at the Betty Hubbard Clinic Bio-Science Laboratories, London. Gutbuster™ is a totally new type of slimming product that is guaranteed to work for anybody with any weight problem. By taking just one months supply of 100 capsules you can loose up to 200% of your body fat FOREVER!. Gutbuster™ dramatically reduces the effects of all those pies, cakes and chocolate bars that most overweight people love stuffing their faces with, Its so simple to use and the results are permanent.


ONLY £199.99 +p+p    more details


  The Felching Pump
Fully washable and dishwasher safe, hygienic, Tough construction Batteries not required, Sucks & squirts. Recommended by the British Felching association. Kit includes: patented Felching pump, plastic glove, tissues and a free sachet of WD40.


ONLY £29.99      more details


  The Lady Drive PMT-200
The Ideal mode of transport for today's Female driver. Why let a Woman drive your pride and joy when she could have her own mode of transport with this little beauty!. The PMT-200 has been specially designed for today's Woman driver - Top speed only 15mph * rubber bumpers all round * easy to park * 15cc Diesel engine * handbag holder *only 2 gears forward & reverse * interior make-up mirror

ONLY £1999.00 more details


  Lard-o-Matic 2000
Thanks to an amazing scientific discovery, and many years of intensive research by top scientists at the Betty Hubbard Clinic, Lard-o-matic 2000 is now a simple, safe and cost effective means of adding local areas of fat to most parts of the body. The treatments can be carried out in the caring atmosphere of the Betty Hubbard Clinic, or if you prefer the the implants can be carried out safely and easily in the comfort of your own home. Now Lard-o-matic 2000 makes it easy to inject large amounts of fat into most areas of the body, including:

Thighs * Stomach * Face * Testicles * Buttocks * Penis* Vulva

ONLY £169.00 per treatment more details


Now you can remove that pungent 'Penis Parmesan' with this revolutionary new Helmet Cheese remover, only available from The Betty Hubbard Clinic. It's goodbye Bell-end Brie, hello Foreskin freshness! Now you can have the confidence to pull your knob out anywhere and show it to the Ladies knowing that the Cheesy Chopper aroma has gone for good.

ONLY £199.99 More details


The Brand New Product for Today's Woman. There's nothing worse than a stinky Vagina. And a Lady's love tunnel can get just that way if it's neglected. But the fairer sex need not fluster, because now there's Clitorox, the first industrial strength douche. Clitorox keeps the Pussy prim and proper, killing all known bacteria. Remember Ladies: simple soap and water isn't enough. Your dirty Twat needs Clitorox!


ONLY £29.99 More details



With the new Knob-o-matic treatments, any man can now have a bigger better
knob. The Knob-o-matic is the World’s first true Penis enlargement system. With Just one simple injection you can dramatically increase the size of your Penis by up to 50%.Just a few minutes in the privacy of your own home is all it takes to make your Knob so big it'll split your pants.

ONLY £199.99  More details


  Dr. Felcher's Anti-Nag Spray
Fast acting relief from constant oral abuse, pestering, general annoyance and badgering. Dr. Felcher’s Anti-Nag spray contains a unique patented chemical cocktail which guarantees long lasting, effective protection against constant oral abuse from Females. One Spray keeps the Bitch at bay


ONLY £19.99 More details


  Bukkake Blaster
The new Bukkake Blaster™ is the first product of it's type in the World. Designed and manufactured in Japan exclusively for The Betty Hubbard Clinic. Just think of all the great fun you can have with this great new toy. These are great fun at parties, weddings, orgies BBQ'S etc. With it's powerful 200psi pressure system it allows you to shoot your man muck over thirty feet.
This award winning high performance spunk squirter is unique to us, you will not find these for sale anywhere else. Order yours now for the bargain price of only £79.99
The Bukkake Blaster, a great gift idea for the Man who has everything!

ONLY £79.99 More details


The Male Anti Rape Plug. YES you'd better believe it!. Now every normal man has the opportunity to be kept safe from the dangers of  Homosexual perverts. The patented MARP is a Technology advanced plug type device which is sewn permanently in place into your anal cavity, by our own trained surgeons in the comfort of your own home. The MARP uses a unique Gas-Vent™ valve so your own body gases and solids are easily passed out of your system, but nothing can enter into it, so you are kept 100% safe all of the time. plus, that's not all! Thanks to clever internal electronics the MARP protects you as you sleep emitting an ear piercing 98db alarm if anything comes even close to your buttocks. The MARP is also fitted with silicon washers to guard against leakage

ONLY £399.99 plus £199 fitting and alignment charge  More details





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