Doctor Skcollob's Miracle Health Patches

41, Fourtney Mews, off Germain street, London WC1 TA4

We could tell you that our Miracle Health Patches are the best in the business, but in the end nothing matters more, than what you our valued customers think. Below are just a few of your comments.

“I ain’t too clever but that Doctor Skcollob told me it would be a great idea to cover my body with these patches, so I did. I don’t feel that good but he said I should survive” Tarquin Phuknugget – London “I’ve covered my gunt with these patches in the hope they’ll reduce the hideous lump to something more attractive looking” Michele - Wiltshire “After years of hard, full-on anal sex, my anal cavity was so loose that my partner could fist me dry without any problems whatsoever. I had to wear three tampons up there just to stop everything from falling out. Since using these Miracle Health Patches, I now have the confidence to go out in public without having any embarrassing leakage difficulties” Big Gay Steve – Brighton “I had to use a good few of these patches as my arse were in one hell of a state after years of self-abuse” Fred Ebullana, Bristol

Don’t delay, order your Miracle Health Patches today!

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The Betty Hubbard Clinic is part of The Machine that goes ping group of companies

Company terms and conditions: If you plan to use the Miracle Health Patches on a regular basis, please be aware that the risk of death from their use is calculated at roughly 37%. All prices shown are an approximate guide and do not necessarily reflect the actual amount you will have to pay after any other unfortunate expenses have been incurred. The Betty Hubbard Clinic and Doctor Skcollob take no responsibility for any misguided decisions you may make as a result of your reliance in this procedure’s safety. Please consult your doctor before using these patches. A mandatory life insurance fee of £300 must be paid to us before your operation can be performed. We also recommend patients purchase their own life cover before they are operated on by us. The Betty Hubbard Clinic requires that any individual we operate on signs a consent form that exonerates us from any injuries, brain damage or deaths resulting from any of our operations. We also require that every patient signs a disclaimer that gives us permission to use any surgery leftovers that go into in any of our tasty meat products with their consent. We sometimes find it necessary to perform certain emergency procedures on certain patients when they are under the knife, due to circumstances beyond our control. In these situations any surgical waste is used in our meat products without the express permission of the individual concerned. A small fee of £79 to cover administration costs is required from patients before any surgery procedure can be carried out. The information contained in this site does not constitute legal, commercial or professional advice and must not be relied on as such.

Here at the Betty Hubbard Clinic we are very proud of the fact that we have developed a diverse and innovative range of products and services over the years. We have been at the forefront of technical innovation since 1903 when we pioneered the first Sex-Change operation. Now Doctor Skcollob is pleased to announce his brand new product, which has been designed in-house, in collaboration with our talented research technicians. From the common cold to full-blown AIDS only Doctor Skcollob’s Miracle Health Patches are proven to cure 98% of all known diseases. Developed afters many weeks of research by Doctor Skcollob and his team of academics at the Betty Hubbard clinic, these patches contain a unique blend of chemicals and natural ingredients to gently cure a wide range of nasty diseases. Why suffer from the effects of various types of venereal disease, cancer and even AIDS when these miracle of modern science patches can cure them all! Miracle Health Patches are made from a specially developed polypropylene plastic, coated with Chlorine Trifluoride and our other, special, secret technological advancements.

How to use – Simply peel off the backing from the patch and adhere it to the nearest point of your affliction. For diseases and aliments that cannot be seen, the patch should be stuck to the lower abdomen. When the patch is in place, leave in position for approximately 14 days. After the patch has had time to do its job, simply remove with industrial strength alcohol and dispose of by placing the patch in a metal container. Douse with petrol or similar highly flammable liquid and then ignite. Any remnants can then be safely flushed down a toilet.

Help cover the cost of your medical procedure with a Skcollob Loan

The secret of Doctor Skcollob’s Miracle Health Patches lies in its use of Chlorine Trifluoride biochemical release elements. These specially developed chemicals bind themselves onto body tissue and gently release their healing properties into your disease-ridden body.

Before you order your Miracle Health Patches, why not visit our clinic page to discover the many other wonderful products and services offered by The Betty Hubbard Clinic