The Glastonbury Miracle Healing Centre, a Spiritual
Retreat that embodies the qualities of Love and
Compassion.
We are situated in the sacred town of Glastonbury right on top of
a ley line. The powerful energy infusing this beautiful place and
the spectacular views of Glastonbury Tor and the Somerset
Levels make it an obvious choice for anyone wanting to heal
themselves of any nasty diseases or experience a powerful
spiritual transformation.
Glastonbury, known by some as the spiritual heart of the planet
has evolved over centuries. For pilgrims in need of spiritual growth
and personal healing, we offer a wide range of therapies
supporting many health problems and diseases; benefiting your
physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
You may book a single therapy or stay for spiritual healing in our
nearby hotel. If you are unsure about which therapies would be
most helpful, please contact us and we will discuss with you your
desires and how we can treat you with the most expensive
treatment. Alieno Conks - manager
Therapies
Sound therapy – As you lie down and relax on our healing table that has been blessed by a
Buddhist monk, our miracle healer Agri Shagmong rings numerous gongs and blows
healing trumpets to rid your body of evil spirits. For an extra charge, you can have our
healer insert his magical trumpet into your anal cavity and blow his health-giving breath
into your body to help rid your system of negativity and balance your chakra
£86 per hour
Crystal therapy - Lie back and relax as you are covered from head to toe in the
miracle properties of our specially selected crystals. You will instantly feel their
health-giving properties draw the toxins from your body.
£87 per hour
Rebirthing pool – As you climb naked into our state of the art birthing pool you will
feel the warm Glastonbury spring water envelop your body. For added health benefits why
not have our magical healing wand inserted in to your anal cavity at the same time. This
special hollow wand is filled with warm soapy water and special therapeutic herbs and spices that help cleanse
your innards and help rid your body of negativity.
£100 per hour (extra charge for healing wand)
Candle therapy – As you lie face down in a darkened room, listening to soothing whale music, hundreds of
aromatherapy candles are lit all around you. As the intoxicating fumes enter your lungs you will feel the toxins
and negative energy leave your body.
£85 per hour
Rain dance – If your area has been affected by drought, our qualified witch doctor Agri Shagmong will perform
a rain dance to rid the area of evil spirits and promote rain showers.
£178 per dance (subject to weather conditions)
Have your soul freed of evil spirits – Many people believe their health has been unduly affected by the
presence of evil spirits entering their body and infiltrating their souls. If this is the case, we are fully qualified to
perform a full spiritual exorcism to rid your body of these troublesome spirits. £125 per exorcism.
Call us now to arrange your treatments
Terms and conditions
Please note that the majority (all) of our treatments and cures are complete bullshit and do not work as advertised. However, some feelings
of positivity may be experienced due to a placebo effect. Our healing hotel is situated in the nearby town of Highbridge and not in
Glastonbury as advertised. Whilst little care is taken to describe our healing methods in an accurate and honest way, some aspects of the
treatments may differ from the advertised description. The Betty Hubbard Clinic and The Glastonbury Healing Centre accepts no
responsibility for any treatments that do not go to plan, including distress, death or inconvenience or anxiety caused by evil spirits. A small
(non-refundable) processing fee of £18.49 is added to your invoice to cover administration costs. We reserve the right to sell or publish the
names, bank information and any other personal details of our customers to third parties. All prices shown are an approximate guide and do
not necessarily reflect the actual amount you will have to pay after any other unfortunate expenses have been incurred. We reserve the right
to use your internal organs in the event of your death to be made into our meat products. Some treatments have been known to take several
hours to complete because of circumstances beyond our control, or because the wrong doses of chemicals have been administered. These
controversial treatments have not been proven to work in all patients and may cause some rather unpleasant side-effects such as:
impotence, depression, penis shrinkage, vaginal dryness, heavy internal bleeding, memory loss, excessive flatulence, diarrhoea and many,
yet undiscovered side-effects. Please consult your witch doctor before taking any untested or unlicensed medication. This site is not affiliated
with the Bridget Healing Centre in any way. The information contained in this site does not constitute legal, commercial or professional advice
and must not be relied on as such.
The Glastonbury Miracle Healing Centre, 69, Park Road, Glastonbury, Somerset.
Online Shop
Chinese Healing Eggs These amazing
stainless-steel healing eggs are handmade in the
Nabushi-Shang-Hung province of northern China
by local craftsmen. Simply insert these balls into
either your anal cavity or vagina for
approximately eight hours per day. As you move
around in your usual daily routine, the eggs rub
together in harmony, generating a healing
vibration felt all over your body. £199
Magical Healing Crystal This special healing
crystal has been approved and blessed by a Tibetan
Crystal master for concentrated healing power.
Linked to the Solar Plexus Chakra, it is a stone of
positivity that heightens the sensitivity of people
around it. It is known to promote balance and
harmony, inviting love and honesty into
relationships and is a great stone for meditation.
Now you can treat your aliments at home with this
amazingly powerful stone, safe in the knowledge
that you are in possession of the most powerful
therapeutic crystal in the world! £999
Magical Glastonbury Potion Sacred water is
collected directly from the legendary spring at the
foot of the world-famous Glastonbury Tor, where
it is mixed with a secret blend of organic herbs,
crystal dust and goat’s urine. It is then personally
bottled and blessed by our healer Agri Shagmong.
By swallowing a single teaspoon of this elixir once
a day you will quickly feel invigorated with the
health-giving properties of this miracle potion.
£39.99
T-Shirt Show the world you are a proud fan Of the
Healing Centre by wearing this delightful t-shirt made
from the finest organic cotton and recycled
Himalayan Healing mats. These T-shirts are lovingly
handmade by Tibetan monks in northern Asia using a
400 year loom that has been blessed by the Dalai
Lama. £29.99
“Your healer Agri Shagmong told me my chakra was totally corrupt, but he
miraculously healed me by rubbing his hands all over my naked body for
two hours”
Elsie Cocksocks, Norwich
“I thought I didn’t have nothing wrong with me but that bloke in your
healing centre said I had evil spirits in my mind. He rubbed some crystals
over my forehead for ten minutes, took seventy quid out of my wallet and
said I were cured.”
Tarquin Phucknugget, Milton Keynes
“I visit the wonderful Glastonbury Healing Centre at least four times a year
to use the rebirthing pool. The healer inserts his healing wand into my anus
and squirts his magical therapeutic liquid into my body.”
Doris Kunt, Cardiff
“I can highly recommend this place. Each time I visit, Agri Shagmong
and I both strip off naked and lie on a hand-woven Himalayan healing
rug. He then rubs crystals, magical organic herbs and olive oil all over
my body for two hours. I leave the place feeling as though my soul has
been healed and all the negative energy has evaporated from my body.”
Hilda Gland, Bristol
Client Testimonials
Blase Gulltwit our resident fortune teller is now available to give you
her highly accurate Tarot and psychic readings, in person or over the
phone. You can make an appointment with her for £80 per half hour.
Alternatively, you can contact her by telephone for a reading at £4
per minute.
Blase comes from a long line of psychics and was born at the foot of
the mystical Glastonbury Tor to Romany gypsy parents. She is a
highly experienced clairvoyant with years of experience. Contact her
today for an unforgettable spiritual experience.
Call her now for your own personalised reading.
Tarot & Psychic Readings
CALL FOR YOUR PERSONALISED
READING NOW
01632 960713
Calls cost £4 for the first minute (£5 thereafter)
and terminate in Ulaanbaatar
Welcome to The Glastonbury Miracle Healing Centre
Come and be treated for all your aliments by our miracle healer Agri Shagmong.
Our 5G-signal blocking hat uses the AMAZING
PROPERTIES OF PROPRIETARY HOLOGRAPHIC NANO-
LAYER TECHNOLOGY to protect you from
harmful rays.
Advanced Anti EMF Protection – Programmed with
more than 30 homoeopathic frequencies and
infused with rare-earth elements, our anti EMF
radiation protection hat can neutralise EMF/EMR
and 5G radiation with the healing powers of
negative ions. The hat also uses Quantum
holographic catalyzer technology for the balance
and harmonisation of the harmful effects of
imbalanced electric radiation.
These hats are becoming more and more popular
with the residents of Glastonbury and come highly
recommended by some leading town council
members.
Web exclusive price of only £599
NEW and exclusive to us!
The master of the Crystal Ball
CALL TO BOOK YOUR APPOINTMENT NOW!
01632 960713
Tarquin Mingeball, our resident fortune
teller, is now available to give you his
highly accurate crystal ball readings, in
person or over the phone.
You can make an appointment with him
for £80 per half hour. Alternatively,
you can contact him by telephone for a
reading at £4 per minute.
Tarquin is a renowned psychic Tibetan
Monk with twenty years experience of
fortune telling.
Each Month we feature a healthy living tip from one
of our in-house medical experts. This month it’s the
turn of Roods Punkins-Wiry, our resident healthy
living guru.
urine therapy is believed to have health benefits.
Proponents of this therapy claim that drinking one's
urine can help detoxify the body, boost the immune
system, and improve overall health.
I for one can definitely recommend this practice, as I
have been drinking approximately four litres of my
own (and others) urine every day for the past six
years. In fact, I find this practice so beneficial to my
health that I now drink urine exclusively. Although, I
must admit that I do enjoy the occasional can of
Elixir Health Drink as a special treat.
Give it a go for yourself, I think you’ll be amazed the
difference this makes to your health and inner
chakra.
Our Special Healthy Living Tips
Originating from the sacred well at the foot of the magical
and mystical Glastonbury Tor, this amazing new herbal
health drink is made with only the finest ingredients to be
found anywhere in the World.
Developed by Agri Shagmong, the expert faith healer at the
Glastonbury Miracle Healing centre in Somerset,
Glastonbury Elixir was born. This new miracle health drink
is primarily made from the crystal-clear water that
emanates from the famous well near the enchanted
Glastonbury Tor.
The healing water is collected and blessed by Agri
Shagmong himself, then hand-mixed in a large antique
Tibetan prayer bowl with a range of health-giving
ingredients such as organic herbs, berries, finely powdered
Himalayan crystals, and goat urine. The resulting mixture
is then once again blessed and packaged in recycled organic
aluminium cans.
Glastonbury Elixir Health Drink
