The Glastonbury Miracle Healing Centre, a Spiritual Retreat
that embodies the qualities of Love and Compassion.
We are situated in the sacred town of Glastonbury right on top of a ley
line. The powerful energy infusing this beautiful place and the
spectacular views of Glastonbury Tor and the Somerset Levels make it an
obvious choice for anyone wanting to heal themselves of any nasty
diseases or experience a powerful spiritual transformation.
Welcome to The Glastonbury
Miracle Healing Centre
Glastonbury, known by some as the spiritual heart of the planet
has evolved over centuries. For pilgrims in need of spiritual growth
and personal healing, we offer a wide range of therapies
supporting many health problems and diseases; benefiting your
physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
You may book a single therapy or stay for spiritual healing in our
nearby hotel. If you are unsure about which therapies would be
most helpful, please contact us and we will discuss with you your
desires and how we can treat you with the most expensive
treatment.
Therapies
Sound therapy – As you lie down and relax on our healing table that has been blessed by a
Buddhist monk, our miracle healer Agri Shagmong rings numerous gongs and blows
healing trumpets to rid your body of evil spirits. For an extra charge, you can have our
healer insert his magical trumpet into your anal cavity and blow his health-giving breath
into your body to help rid your system of negativity and balance your chakra
£86 per hour
Crystal therapy - Lie back and relax as you are covered from head to toe in the
miracle properties of our specially selected crystals. You will instantly feel their
health-giving properties draw the toxins from your body.
£87 per hour
Rebirthing pool – As you climb naked into our state of the art birthing pool you will
feel the warm Glastonbury spring water envelop your body. For added health benefits why
not have our magical healing wand inserted in to your anal cavity at the same time. This
special hollow wand is filled with warm soapy water and special therapeutic herbs and spices that help cleanse
your innards and help rid your body of negativity.
£100 per hour (extra charge for healing wand)
Candle therapy – As you lie face down in a darkened room, listening to soothing whale music, hundreds of
aromatherapy candles are lit all around you. As the intoxicating fumes enter your lungs you will feel the toxins
and negative energy leave your body.
£85 per hour
Rain dance – If your area has been affected by drought, our qualified witch doctor Agri Shagmong will perform
a rain dance to rid the area of evil spirits and promote rain showers.
£178 per dance (subject to weather conditions)
Have your soul freed of evil spirits – Many people believe their health has been unduly affected by the
presence of evil spirits entering their body and infiltrating their souls. If this is the case, we are fully qualified to
perform a full spiritual exorcism to rid your body of these troublesome spirits. £125 per exorcism.
Call us now to arrange your treatments
Come and be treated for all your aliments
by our miracle healer Agri Shagmong.
Terms and conditions
Please note that the majority (all) of our treatments and cures are complete bullshit and do not work as advertised. However, some feelings
of positivity may be experienced due to a placebo effect. Our healing hotel is situated in the nearby town of Highbridge and not in
Glastonbury as advertised. Whilst little care is taken to describe our healing methods in an accurate and honest way, some aspects of the
treatments may differ from the advertised description. The Betty Hubbard Clinic and The Glastonbury Healing Centre accepts no
responsibility for any treatments that do not go to plan, including distress, death or inconvenience or anxiety caused by evil spirits. A small
(non-refundable) processing fee of £18.49 is added to your invoice to cover administration costs. We reserve the right to sell or publish the
names, bank information and any other personal details of our customers to third parties. All prices shown are an approximate guide and do
not necessarily reflect the actual amount you will have to pay after any other unfortunate expenses have been incurred. We reserve the right
to use your internal organs in the event of your death to be made into our meat products. Some treatments have been known to take several
hours to complete because of circumstances beyond our control, or because the wrong doses of chemicals have been administered. These
controversial treatments have not been proven to work in all patients and may cause some rather unpleasant side-effects such as:
impotence, depression, penis shrinkage, vaginal dryness, heavy internal bleeding, memory loss, excessive flatulence, diarrhoea and many,
yet undiscovered side-effects. Please consult your doctor before taking any untested or unlicensed medication. The information contained in
this site does not constitute legal, commercial or professional advice and must not be relied on as such.
The Glastonbury Miracle Healing Centre, 69, Park Road, Glastonbury, Somerset.
Online Shop
Chinese Healing Eggs These amazing stainless-steel
healing eggs are handmade in the Nabushi-Shang-Hung
province of northern China by local craftsmen. Simply
insert these balls into either your anal cavity or vagina for
approximately eight hours per day. As you move around
in your usual daily routine, the eggs rub together in
harmony, generating a healing vibration felt all over your
body. £199
Magical Healing Crystal This special healing crystal has
been approved and blessed by a Tibetan Crystal master for
concentrated healing power. Linked to the Solar Plexus
Chakra, it is a stone of positivity that heightens the
sensitivity of people around it. It is known to promote
balance and harmony, inviting love and honesty into
relationships and is a great stone for meditation. Now you
can treat your aliments at home with this amazingly
powerful stone, safe in the knowledge that you are in
possession of the most powerful therapeutic crystal in the
world! £999
Magical Glastonbury Potion Sacred water is
collected directly from the legendary spring at the foot of
the world-famous Glastonbury Tor, where it is mixed
with a secret blend of organic herbs, crystal dust and
goat’s urine. It is then personally bottled and blessed by
our healer Agri Shagmong. By swallowing a single
teaspoon of this elixir once a day you will quickly feel
invigorated with the health-giving properties of this
miracle potion. £39.99
T-Shirt Show the world you are a proud fan Of the Healing
Centre by wearing this delightful t-shirt made from the finest
organic cotton and recycled Himalayan Healing mats. These
T-shirts are lovingly handmade by Tibetan monks in northern
Asia using a 400 year loom that has been blessed by the Dalai
Lama. £29.99
“Your healer Agri Shagmong told me my chakra was totally corrupt, but he miraculously healed me by
rubbing his hands all over my naked body for two hours”
Elsie Cocksocks, Norwich
“I thought I didn’t have nothing wrong with me but that bloke in your healing centre said I had evil spirits
in my mind. He rubbed some crystals over my forehead for ten minutes, took seventy quid out of my wallet
and said I were cured.”
Tarquin Phucknugget, Milton Keynes
“I visit the wonderful Glastonbury Healing Centre at least four times a year to use the rebirthing
pool. The healer inserts his healing wand into my anus and squirts his magical therapeutic liquid
into my body.”
Doris Kunt, Cardiff
“I can highly recommend this place. Each time I visit, Agri Shagmong and I both
strip off naked and lie on a hand-woven Himalayan healing rug. He then rubs
crystals, magical organic herbs and olive oil all over my body for two hours. I leave
the place feeling as though my soul has been healed and all the negative energy has
evaporated from my body.”
Hilda Gland, Bristol
