Highbridge Hotel guest of
the year 2016
We are proud to announce the
winner of our guest of the year award. Every year, me and my partner
portencious hold a competition for the guest we think has done the most to
give our hotel a good name and also brings in the most money for us. This
year’s winner is Helmut Crabbs, a travelling toilet brush salesman from
Bristol.
Helmut Crabbs
poses for the camera
“I am really pleased that I won the award this year as my job selling toilet
brushes door-to-door is fucking difficult at the best of times. I have to
sell about eighty of the bastards a day just to keep my head above water. I
been staying at this hotel for loads of times like. It is a really nice
place and the rooms are really cheap too, but I reckon they could be a bit
cleaner as I’m sure the last time I stayed there I woke up and seen a live
rat on my pillow, Well, either that or I were pissed out of my fucking
mind.”
“What I like best about her place is the really chap booze and the whores
they got there. The ladies they have on offer is up for anything, you name
it, and most of them will do it, well, apart from that hundred year old one
as I think it’s all getting a bit too much for the poor old dear now, but
least she gives it her best shot. Golden showers, scat, rimming, water
sports, felching, they'll do the fucking lot!. They is good value as I can
get a room and a bird for the whole night for only about £35. I’ve met some
really interesting characters at the hotel too. I become friends with that
bloke what won it the other year - Bernie Kuntwhistle. We’ve had some great
nights there getting fucking wrecked on the local cider
then going back to
his room for a threesome with one of the girls. Some of the things we get up
too with them tarts would make your toes curl I can tell you.”
Helmut’s prize for winning this
year’s event is a bottle of Ukrainian 'champagne', 500 Fuckedher loyalty
card points
and a night with a girl of his choice.
Highbridge hotel -
Guest of the Year Award 2013
We are proud to announce the winner of our guest of
the year award. Every year me and my partner portencious hold a competition
for the guest we think has done the most to give our hotel a good name and
also brings in the most money for us. This year’s winner is
Bernie Kuntwhistle, a travelling thimble salesman from Cardiff.
Bernie
Kuntwhistle poses for the camera in our luxury sweet
“I am so pleased to win this award as I stay in a lot
of different hotels all over the country, as my job as a travelling
thimble salesman takes me all over the UK. I can quite safely say that
the Highbridge hotel is my favourite place to relax and unwind after a
stressful day on the road.
Selling thimbles is a fucking difficult job at the best of times, as the
market for the bloody things is very limited these days, plus there is
the added competition from other, commission-hungry salesmen out there.
Because of the stress of the job I need a place to stay that has decent
food and a comfortable bed. Unfortunately the Highbridge Hotel has none
of these, but what is does have to make up for the quite frankly,
diabolical food and uncomfortable, dirty beds is an extremely low room
rate, and from what I can gather, is the only hotel in the country that
has its own in-house prostitutes. The room rates are so cheap that
sometimes I don’t even bother to fiddle my expenses, and of course the
price they charge for a night with one of their twelve ladies is
fantastic value. I think I’ve bedded most of them now, so I’ve probably
earned enough points on my Fuckedher loyalty card to have my evil way
with one of the babes for free or maybe even a reduced rate threesome.
When you’re on the road as much as I am there’s no time for a proper
relationship, so the Highbridge hotel is the ideal place to get my head
down and my cock up.
The hotel is the perfect place to meet up with other likeminded
travelling salesmen. I’ve had some great nights here, discussing the
thimble business, getting pissed out of my mind on the local
cider and
then going back to my room to shag one of the hotel’s girls senseless. I
would like to thank the guys at the hotel for awarding me this prize and
say, keep up the good work. Oh, one more thing, please don’t publish any
of this on your website as I don’t want my wife finding out about my
win”
Bernie’s prize for winning this year’s award is a
bottle of Bulgarian champagne, a meal of some sort and a night with a
whore of his choice
Are new chef Tracey Snot poses
in are newly refurbished kitchen
Coming soon to the
Highbridge Hotel - Belly dancing night with the exotic Shirley Tuls.
70 year old Shirley really knows how
to put on a show. See her perform her amazing exotic belly dance show
and entertain you like no other dancer you’ve ever seen before.
Shirley’s erotic routine has a unique twist though; the member of the
audience who gives her the biggest tip gets to have their evil way with
her live on stage. Don’t delay - book your ticket now for this great
night of entertainment you’ll never forget!
Adults £15 (hotel
residents £10) Children £8 family ticket £30. Bar open until late. All
drinks £2
Shirley appears courtesy of
Doctor Skcollob's Amazing Circus
Join us every Saturday night for
are fabulous meat buffet. Each week end one of are girls invites you to
eat as much sliced meat
and cheese as you like from there naked body. Its a great night full
of depraved antics, and at only £12 a head is shure to please. All
drinks only £2 all night and local
cider
only £1
