Welcome to The New Site of the Weird online medical query page

  Join the Dr.Skcollob Appreciation Society here

Doctor Harry Skcollob has over 38 years experience in the medical field and is now
 the main consultant at The Betty Hubbard Clinic, London

Let Dr. Skcollob answer any Medical Queries you may have free of charge! Don't be embarrassed, this man has seen it all!

Rampant Stallion -  a new product from Doctor Skcollob here
Doctor Skcollob's Meaty Sausages - A new taste sensation here


Our first question this week comes from a Mr. Smith of London.
Dear Doctor Skcollob, I have suffered for many years with a very small Penis. In a desperate measure to enlarge my member I recently tried stretching it with a dumb bell weight hung from around my nuts while I stood on two bar stools. Unfortunately this has been a complete disaster, what would you advise me to do?

Dr. Skcollob replies
In all my many years of  medical practice I have never witnessed such a crass and unsightly method of self body modification. Judging by the picture you sent me, I can only suggest that you seek psychiatric help immediately. PS have your Balls fallen off yet?
 


Our Next question is from Winston Kadohdoh from Birmingham.
Dear Doc, The other day I woke up to find this bloody great lump on my face. Not only does it hurt like hell, but my mates at work keep trying to burst it with pliers or knitting needles, what would you suggest I do about it ?

Dr. Skcollob replies
Oh dear, oh dear,  there's a little something  you haven't mentioned here isn't there Winston. Huge & unsightly facial growths full of disgusting pus such as these can only be caused by S.T.D s (Sexually transmitted diseases to you old Boy) I'm afraid to say that this rather nasty little bugger will probably kill you in about 12-
14 days, as at the moment no known medical cure is available, Sorry. 

 


Next is a letter from a Mrs. S. Nopmat  from Bridgwater.
Dear Doctor, I cannot help but feel disturbed by the odd shape of my baby's head, what makes matters worse are the looks I get from the general public when I take him out to the shops. Would it be possible for him to have some sort of operation or something?. Please can you help

Dr. Skcollob replies
Firstly Mrs. Nopmat the shape of your Baby's head is nothing to worry about, you are from Bridgwater after all aren't you my Dear. Secondly I'm not surprised you get funny looks in the street, he's a right ugly little Bastard isn't he!. As for an operation, forget it!. This would be out of the question I'm afraid as your little 'Elephant Boy' will be very lucky to see his first Birthday anyway.

 


Our next letter this week comes from Colin
Dear Doctor, Last week I went out for a night on the town with a few mates. Needless to say, we all got rather 'pissed up', the night really got out of control after I drank a yard of Absinthe. On the way home from the pub two of my mates decided it would be a great laugh to dunk my head into a barrel of battery acid that we found on a nearby garage forecourt. As you can imagine the pain was somewhat unbearable (and still is) After they all stopped laughing at my newly acquired features they took me to casualty to get help.  Would it be possible for you to do some sort of reconstructive surgery on my face and neck, as my mates tell me you lot can work miracles these days. I hope you can help, as I'm not having much luck with the Ladies at the moment.  Colin.

   

Dr. Skcollob replies 
Well Colin you look fucking terrible, that should teach you to stay off the booze for a while!. A yard of Absinthe?!! I'm surprised you're still alive, let alone hideously deformed. Miracles you say, who the fuck do you think I am?  Mother Fucking Teresa !. Seriously though,
reconstructive surgery on your face is possible, At a price, I could do it for about ten or twelve grand, but due to your hideous injuries, surgery would not make much difference, so therefore I don't think  this would be money well spent. As for the pain, I'd recommend about two to three packets of paracetamol a day for the rest of your life.

 


Next is a letter from a Mr./Mrs.? K. Gok of London
Dear Doctor Skcollob, ever since I can remember I have felt that I was born into the wrong body, I have never felt happy with myself, this has resulted in many years of depression and self hatred. Although I was brought up as a male I have always thought of myself as a female. For many years I have been wanting to have a sex change operation but my doctor and psychiatrist were unwilling to recommend me for this procedure. Last week I decided that enough was enough and I could wait for this operation no longer, I decided to take matters into my own hands. A friend of a friend of mine said that he had medical experience (I later found out he worked Saturdays in a chemist store) and offered to perform the operation for me for a fee of £1000. As you can see the results have been a total disaster. I am in complete agony with heavy bruising, rectal bleeding and many other problems associated with the operation and have not been able to pee for three days, when I do it shoots up my nose. Sexual intercourse is also very painful. You are my last hope as my own Doctor is unwilling to have anything more to do with me and my local hospital's casualty department could do very little to help, apart from prescribing me pain killers. Please Doctor Skcollob could you do reconstructive surgery on my vagina to put things right, I would also like a big pair of tits.

sex change gone wrong

Dr. Skcollob replies
Well Well Well. When will you people ever learn that this type of surgery is best left to the professionals at The Betty Hubbard Clinic. They have many years of experience in this particular field and are regarded by many to be the best in the business. That certainly is a fine mess you've managed to get yourself into isn't it, what the fuck did you think you were doing letting a complete novice operate on you in this manner? I'm not surprised that when you pee it shoots up your nose, I dread to think the mess he's left your internal plumbing in with his botched attempts at rearranging your internal bits and pieces. I also can't believe you've attempted to have sexual intercourse so soon after your 'operation' are you completely fucking deranged or something? and I'm not surprised that your psychiatrist was unwilling to recommend you for a sex change as you must be unhinged in some way. To answer your question, yes, I should be able to sort this awful mess and get everything working in the right way, although I must warn you that it isn't going to be cheap! I would say we're probably talking in the region of around £40,000 although for this price I would be willing to throw in a nice big pair of tits for you as well.
 


Our Next question is from Bernie of Bristol
Dear Doctor Skcollob. I am a heterosexual man from the UK. I don't really know how to describe my problem so I have sent you a picture. About a year ago I started to notice that my cock and balls were sort of sinking into my body and the whole area was starting to turn into some sort of giant boil. As you can imagine sexual intercourse is impossible, I can't even have a wank for god sake as the pain is so great. I also find it very difficult to urinate, when I do it shoots out of my arse. As you can imagine this has caused me much embarrassment in the past, especially when I try to use public toilets. I know I've left it a long time to get help but up until now I have been too embarrassed to get any type of diagnosis. Please help me Doctor as my friends have found out about my condition and constantly make jokes about me.

large largest boil sex change picture

Dr. Skcollob replies
I have been a doctor for almost 40 years and in all this time I have never seen anything so vile and disgusting as this. To be honest I can only do my best to try and help you with this problem. I have emailed your picture to many of the top genital specialists all over the world and they have all admitted that they have never seen anything remotely like this. I would be willing to sort this out for you, but I warn you that the procedure will be very painful and very expensive. I plan to lance your unusual boil with a red hot needle and other procedures that I'd rather not go into at the moment. I must also warn you that the large amount of poisonous puss inside the boil has by now probably dissolved your genitals. I hope this reply has put your mind at ease.
 


Our Next question is from Barry of Southampton
Dear Doctor, I am a 35 year old man. For many years I have been very unhappy with the way I look and have become obsessed with plastic surgery. I can't stop reading celebrity gossip magazines and watching make-over shows on TV. I cannot afford any cosmetic surgery so last Christmas I attempted a facelift and botox injections on myself using a scalpel, scissors, syringe, needle and thread and various chemicals I found in my garage. I injected my lips with axle grease and performed other procedures on my face a with a scalpel. Looking back on the whole experience I suppose I was a bit hasty and should have consulted a professional before I attempted these procedures on myself, but I was so desperate to look 'normal'. I know you are highly regarded in your profession and it wont be cheap, but do you think you could put my mistakes right? The biggest problem I have at he moment is talking and eating, as the swelling in my lips has not gone down at all. I've tried sucking the axle grease out with a syringe but the pain is unbearable. Hope to hear from you soon.
 

Dr. Skcollob replies
Please please make it stop! What the fuck is wrong with you people? I really didn't think I would receive another email from such a totally self obsessed, vain idiot as yourself but of course you've proved me wrong!  I honestly don't think there are adequate words in the English language to describe how I feel about reading your message. Your hideous attempts at cosmetic surgery will need extensive and very expensive reconstructive surgery. We're talking tens of thousands of pounds here sunshine so you'd better get saving. The first thing to sort out will be your hilarious attempt at botox on your lips, that's what I call a trout pout! -ha ha. In the meantime, for fuck sake don't try anything else to put things right you ugly lunatic.
 


Finally a  letter from a  Mr. Worried of Frinton
Dear Doctor Skcollob, I enclose a picture of my condition. This came on after I received my first 'blowjob' - however I don't think the stupid tart knew what she was doing. Will there be any lasting damage? 

Dr. Skcollob replies
Well Mr. Worried that's one hell of a pair of balls you've got there, I bet you sure can spray some muck with those! That's certainly one Blow Job you wont forget in a hurry, I very much doubt if the swelling will ever go down, but hey, that wouldn't bother me too much   - enjoy

 



Press the play button above to see a short clip of Dr. Skcollob in his consulting room

Do you have an worrying medical question? Then let Dr. Skcollob answer any query you may have free of charge. Don't be embarrassed this man has seen it all!    Mail the Doc here


Doctor Skcollob receives many emails from worried people everyday. He has therefore asked us to publish a selection of the most common questions sent to him, so that hopefully other readers will find them of use. Below are some of the most recent medical quires he has received.
 

Dear doctor Skcollob,

I recently met up with a rather chunky lady in the local town. Things progressed happily on our first outing together, and as luck would have it she was game (AKA desperate) for anything, so we strolled down to the beach for some investigative work on each other.

I now wish I had invested in your Digi-Sniff and not an I-pod, still, life is a learning curve so they say.

Anyway she went like a train and was open for almost anything, (I may cover our exploits at a later date, depending on the reply to my question). Fisting was high on her agenda, and like any gentleman, I obliged.

Here comes the question: It was only the following morning on waking to a rather miserable sky that I noticed my watch was missing, now; it's a good one, rated at 1000 Mtrs, so I rarely take it off. I can only think that during our fisting rummage it somehow came adrift from my wrist (it had a double catch, so it didn't just fall off). She was let's say a little on the wet side up there, so my wrist to elbow may have been liberally coated in something that would possibly register in excess of 85 on the Digi-Sniff, anyway I digress, back to the question. How would you make contact with a lady with whom you took liberties on a star lit beach overlooking Sheppey and ask her if she; or someone else, had come across a Tissot watch lurking at the back of her box?

If you can think of a suitable way of bringing this up with the said lady on my behalf, I would be eternally grateful.

I will of course supply her name and address if you agree to undertake this small request on my behalf.

Yours faithfully

Name withheld to protect image

Whitstable, Kent
 


Dear doctor Skcollob,
Iím newly married and my wife has very loose breasts.
Basically she's thin. i wanted to know what could be
the reason of loose breasts. what i believed till now
is, when a boy or girl herself presses them , they
slowly get loose. but it could be because of thin body
also. she has been wearing bras since the age of 15
yrs.
one more thing, she has some white secretion from
vagina sometimes. (more than 2-3 times a week). is
there a chance that she's suffering from lukorrhea? if
it is so, what could be the reasons of lukorrhea. I
donít think she's unfaithful because enough blood came
from her vagina on our first night.
Doctor, you'll be helping me a lot to fix my
troubled mind in case you answer my question. please
satisfy my query. 
Thanks
deepak jain 


Dr can you help i am a man wanting to be a women and have been reading your web page i live in Tenerife where I can buy tablets etc over the counter  can you please advise what tablets i should be taking to start to grow breasts and give me a good figure Any other advice would be grateful
thank you for your help and look forward to hearing from you soon
.p.


Dear Doctor,
I need your help, I have a problem and I find this difficult to carry on with this disturbing me night and day.

I travel to Ghana in the middle of last year, however before I went I made a trip to my doctor to ascertain if I needed any other medication apart from Malaria Tablets, and to obtain other medication for other medical problems I had. The doctor whom I now no to be a locum decided I did not need anything else to travel to Ghana but Malaria Tablets and I believe her.

On returning from Ghana after a month stay, within about two weeks I began to feel ill the symptoms were spike fevers, headache, double vision, constant sweating, heavy bleeding which looked like large liver pieces, loss of appetite, continual hallucinating, headache, severe joint pains, expansion of my womb and weight loss. incontinence after their removed the catheter.  The doctors took some time to diagnose the problem and gave me paracetamal for the fever, by this time I was admitted to the high dependency unit, my condition was realty bad no one believed I would make it, not even the doctors. The doctors finally found out that I had hepatitis A, by then I had loss three quarters of my liver.  

The Liver is regenerating but I am left sleeping twenty hours per day, severe joint pain, which is so bad I have to be using a walking stick, the worst joint pain in the right shoulder which at times I cannot move the arm, irregular bleeding, urine incontinence, double vision, headaches, feeling very depressed and hallucination. I went trough a series of blood test and also a ct scan of the bran, I am now been told I have to go for a MRI scan as its believes from the Ct scan the pituitary gland as raised, I am now told I may have adenoid tumours in the brain. I realty feel ill and would like to no the following information if you can find this out for me.

1. Is all the symptoms I describe connected to each other?
2. Can hepatitis A trigger the raising of the pituitary gland, or cause tumours in the brain, and cause severe bleeding?
3. why do I sleep twenty hours per day?
4. How can I prevent this sleeping?
5. what causes all the Joint pain I am experiencing?
6. what is the reason for the incontinence and irregular bleeding?
7. what is the time span for all what I am experiencing to stop?
8. How serious is adenoid tumours?

I now found out that I could have had a ten year vaccine for hepitist A which could have prevented this condition, I am so angry it hurts, I need to talk to someone before I explode with the pain I am undergoing, I no you do not deal with medical problem but it must be said that if people are not told about this vaccine a lot more lives will be loss.

I must also say before I went to Ghana I was perfectly ok in terms of my health, and was about to start a new job at the end of the month.

I understand the doctor as since being suspended from duty until 2005 for other medical malpractice's but that dose not stop me from feeling low and really hurt, I have no where or no one to turn to for help and you seem to be my only hope, this story as a lot more to it but I will be unable to say more at this present time as my eyes are closing yet again, after sleeping for sixteen hours, and just waking up about one hour I have to go back to bed, I feel like a dead person trapped in a living body sleeping almost round the clock.

Please Doctor help me,
Ja  
 


Dear DR.  I have been dreaming about having a sex change all my life for you see I was born a male but deep down inside me I know I was supposed to be a female.Can you please tell me what I need to do to get started?
I know I'm a women trapped in a mans body because I love cock to much and straight men really turn me on.  PLEASE RESPOND A.S.A.P.
 THANK YOU DR.
BILLY 


hi my name is Doug i live in calgary aberta Canada i would like to no if u can help me i am trying to find the price of a sex change are they all  the same price and how long dose it take and how to heal and would i need to say in the hospital for a bit to make sure everything is running if u can help grate 


hi Doc

I m a normai girl aged 24.the prob is tht i feel i am born in a wrong body.im very much like a boy.i think like a boy, dress like a boy and even behave like a boy.
i m attracted toward girls. living like a girl is very depressing for me. its been more than 15yrs tht i feel like this. i m not comfortable in the society as i want to be a man.

so have decided on a sex change operation. could i pls have some more details on this.
i m an indian citizen currently working in the uk in lancashire.

pls get back to me at ur earliest.

thanking you
S.F.Patel   
 


Dear doctor Skcollob
I developed swelling at the base of my penis due to injury.  I tripped myself on the carpet at night and directly collided on the sofa and even experience a clicking sound at the time of collision at the penis.  
As a consequence, it has gotten excessively large (swelling).  I am worried because of this. 

Would you please advise me what to do about it? 


Could you please tell me some details on Chyme injections. What are they please, and what are the benefits? 
Are they very painful and what after treatment is administered? 
Thank you 
David
 


Dear doctor Skcollob
bit of a problem, when me and my other half are gettin' it on she says my cock is too big for her pussy,is this logical? I mean I'm only 9" long, should i just go off and masturbate by myself over a picture of her? 


dear doc,
i have been depressed for 2 years since i was 14 i am now 16 and still
depressed i have waited a long time for a sex change but i am a female
wanted to be a male and i was wondering if u did to female to male surgery
if not do you know where i could have it done

miss webb in Cornwall 


What's up doc.me and ma.....girl,recently decided for her 2 get a sex
change opperation(m 2 f)and we wanted 2 know what tha after afects are
going 2 be.thanks
--ya_boy_six 


Doctor please help me! After 43 years I have finally managed to get a date from an online dating site. Only trouble is I told my date I was 10st 4lb and I actually weigh a little more than that. Can you help me? I need to loose the weight before Saturday night. I went out and bought a size 36 outfit in anticipation. Any help would be appreciated Doc. 

Mrs S Marsh of West Yorkshire


After years of denying my sexuality I would like to go ahead with a sex change.

What homerones do I need to take and what dosage?  before my penis is removed. Could I have breast implants  and waist liposuction at the same time 


dear doc  

trying to get some info. on foreskin  restoration. Thanks Jim 


I have urethra stricture and my current urologist wants to do reconstruct surgery on me. That concerns me it only a 90% chance it working. I more toward just getting a sex change. Is there a possible way that the stricture will not return this way? If so do you have a office in or around the Houston Texas area or a office you can recommend me to.

thank you


Dear dr. Skcollob I am 19 years old and have wanted to be a woman for years and have been a bit scared to think what the operation entails or if it is even safe. I want to get the full operation done ( boobs, vagina surgery, the whole treatment to make me look like a full and real woman. I just want to know how much it costs and what the cost is of getting it done in my own home. I was also wondering how much do the hormone tablets change your features thank you for taking the time to read this email.

William Mccallum


Hi Dr. Skcollob,
 
My name is John, I'm 18 years old.
 
Ever since from the age of 6 I've always felt uncomfortable with having my penis, I'd find it really uncomfortable and feel really upset... So what i was wondering doctor is if there would be a chance that I could have surgery sometime in the future too have a vagina instead of a penis. A lot of days I am never normally happy if I am happy I just pretend i am, i just deal with the upset inside.
 
But the only problem is doctor is that i don't want too actually become a transsexual women and one surgery i contacted in Thailand said that he couldn't do the surgery because they only do it for transsexuals only... so really this does actually leave me in a bit of a position that is difficult..
 
Any advice you can give me doctor would be really good.. I am still chatting too friends and family at the moment, i just could do with some advice i can have that will help me with making my choice..
 
Thanks for taking the time too read this message doctor.. ^_^
 
From John.


Dear Dr Skcollob. I'm a 19 year old male too female transexual. I saw my psycotrist on the Monday 5th October 09 and he is refering me too a gender clinic in London for hormone treatment and possibly eventully surgery.

He said its in London but i dont know which one it is. I'm sure i'm going too be under the national health do you come under that or?. Because iam confused at which clinic in London it is that i'm actully going too.

So i was kinda hoping you'd be able too help me out here.

And i have saw some of your prices for surgery, i was wondering how much is a male too female (vaginoplasty) operation going too cost if i went privite?. I think iam gonna wait on the national health but i was wondering in genural how much it would cost privite?.

Thanks very much.

Please email me back if its possible.

Regards. John


Hello  how much will it cost to remove my penis & testicles. I don't want a pussy I just want a nice shape  I hate my penis & testicles . Please can you help me Dave  of Leicester


Do you have an worrying medical question? Then let Dr. Skcollob answer any query you may have free of charge. Don't be embarrassed this man has seen it all!  Mail the Doc here

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