Doctor Harry Skcollob
has over 38 years experience in the medical field and is now
the main consultant
Betty Hubbard Clinic, London
Let Dr. Skcollob answer any Medical Queries you may
have free of charge!Don't be embarrassed,
this man has seen it all!
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Our first question this week comes from a Mr. Smith of London. Dear Doctor Skcollob, I have suffered for many years with a very small Penis. In
a desperate measure to enlarge my member I recently tried stretching it
with a dumb bell weight hung from around my nuts while I stood on two bar
stools. Unfortunately this has been a complete disaster, what would you advise
me to do?
Dr. Skcollob replies In all my many years of medical practice I have never witnessed such
crass and unsightly method of self body modification. Judging by the picture you
sent me, I can only suggest that you seek psychiatric help immediately. PS have
your Balls fallen off yet?
Our Next question is from Winston Kadohdoh from Birmingham.
Dear Doc, The other day I woke up to find this bloody great lump on my face. Not
only does it hurt like hell, but my mates at work keep trying to burst it with
pliers or knitting needles, what would you suggest I do about it ?
Dr. Skcollob replies
Oh dear, oh dear, there's a little something you haven't mentioned here isn't there Winston. Huge & unsightly facial growths full of disgusting pus such as these can only be caused by S.T.D s (Sexually transmitted diseases to you old Boy) I'm afraid to say that this rather nasty little bugger will probably kill you in about 12-14 days, as at
the moment no known medical cure is available, Sorry.
Next is a letter from a Mrs. S. Nopmat from Bridgwater.
Dear Doctor, I cannot help but feel disturbed by the odd shape of my baby's head, what makes matters worse are the looks I get from the general public when I take him out to the shops. Would it be possible for him to have some sort of operation or something?. Please can you help
Dr. Skcollob replies
Firstly Mrs. Nopmat the shape of your Baby's head is nothing to worry about, you are from Bridgwater after all aren't you my Dear. Secondly I'm not surprised you get funny looks in the street, he's a right ugly little Bastard isn't he!. As for an operation, forget it!. This would be out of the question I'm afraid as your little
'Elephant Boy' will be
very lucky to see his first Birthday
Our next letter this week comes from Colin
Dear Doctor, Last week I went out for a night on the town with a few mates.
Needless to say, we all got rather 'pissed up', the night really got out of
control after I drank a yard of Absinthe. On the way home from the pub two
of my mates decided it would be a great laugh to dunk my head into a barrel of
battery acid that we found on a nearby garage forecourt. As you can imagine the
pain was somewhat unbearable (and still is) After they all stopped laughing at
my newly acquired features they took me to casualty to get help.
Would it be possible for you to do some sort of reconstructive surgery on my
face and neck, as my mates tell me you lot can work miracles these days. I hope
you can help, as I'm not having much luck with the Ladies at the moment. Colin.
Dr. Skcollob replies
Well Colin you look fucking terrible, that should teach you to stay off the booze for a while!. A yard of Absinthe?!! I'm surprised you're still
alive, let alone hideously deformed. Miracles you say, who the fuck do you think I am? Mother Fucking Teresa !. Seriously though,
reconstructive surgery on your face is possible, At a price, I could do it for about ten or twelve grand, but due to your hideous injuries, surgery would not make much difference, so therefore I don't think this would be money well spent. As for the pain, I'd recommend about two to three packets of paracetamol a day for the rest of your life.
Next is a letter from a Mr./Mrs.? K. Gok of London
Dear Doctor Skcollob, ever since I can remember I
have felt that I was born into the wrong body, I have never felt happy with
myself, this has resulted in many years of depression and self hatred. Although I was
brought up as a male I have always thought of myself as a female. For many years
I have been wanting to have a sex change operation but my doctor and
psychiatrist were unwilling to recommend me for this procedure. Last week I
decided that enough was enough and I could wait for this operation no
longer, I decided to take matters into my own hands. A friend of a friend of
mine said that he had medical experience (I later found out he worked Saturdays
in a chemist store) and offered to perform the operation for me for a fee of
£1000. As you can see the results have been a total disaster. I am in
complete agony with heavy bruising, rectal bleeding and many other problems
associated with the operation and have not been able to pee for three days,
when I do it shoots up my nose. Sexual intercourse is also very painful. You are
my last hope as my own Doctor is unwilling to have anything more to do with me
and my local hospital's casualty department could do very little to help, apart
from prescribing me pain killers. Please
Doctor Skcollob could you do reconstructive surgery on my vagina to put things
right, I would also like a big pair of tits.
Dr. Skcollob replies
Well Well Well. When will you people ever learn that this type of surgery is
best left to the professionals at
The Betty Hubbard Clinic.
They have many years of experience in this particular field and are regarded by
many to be the best in the business. That certainly is a fine mess you've
managed to get yourself into isn't it, what the fuck did you think you were
doing letting a complete novice operate on you in this manner? I'm not surprised
that when you pee it shoots up your nose, I dread to think the mess he's left
your internal plumbing in with his botched attempts at rearranging your internal
bits and pieces. I also can't believe you've attempted to have sexual intercourse
so soon after your 'operation' are you completely fucking deranged or something?
and I'm not surprised that your psychiatrist was unwilling to recommend you for
a sex change as you must be unhinged in some way. To answer your question, yes, I
should be able to sort this awful mess and get everything working in the right
way, although I must warn you that it isn't going to be cheap! I would say we're
probably talking in the region of around £40,000 although for this price I would
be willing to throw in a nice big pair of tits for you as well.
Our Next question is from Bernie of Bristol Dear
Doctor Skcollob. I am a heterosexual man from the UK. I don't really
know how to describe my problem so I have sent you a picture. About a year ago I started to notice that
my cock and balls were sort of sinking into my body and the whole area was
starting to turn into some sort of giant boil. As you can imagine sexual
intercourse is impossible, I can't even have a wank for god sake as the pain is
so great. I also find it very difficult to urinate, when I do it shoots out of
my arse. As you can imagine this has caused me much embarrassment in the past,
especially when I try to use public toilets. I know I've left it a long time to
get help but up until now I have been too embarrassed to get any type of
diagnosis. Please help
me Doctor as my friends have found out about my condition and constantly make
jokes about me.
Dr. Skcollob replies I have been a doctor for almost 40
years and in all this time I have never seen anything so vile and disgusting as
this. To be honest I can only do my best to try and help you with this problem.
I have emailed your picture to many of the top genital specialists all over
the world and they have all admitted that they have never seen anything remotely
like this. I would be willing to sort this out for you, but I warn you that the
procedure will be very painful and very expensive. I plan to lance your unusual
boil with a red hot needle and other procedures that I'd rather not go into at
the moment. I must also warn you that the large amount of poisonous puss inside
the boil has by now probably dissolved your genitals. I hope this reply has put
your mind at ease.
Our Next question is from Barry of Southampton Dear Doctor, I am a 35 year old man. For
many years I have been very unhappy with the way I look and have become obsessed
with plastic surgery. I can't stop reading celebrity gossip magazines and
watching make-over shows on TV. I cannot afford any cosmetic surgery so last
Christmas I attempted a facelift and botox injections on myself using a scalpel,
scissors, syringe, needle and thread and various chemicals I found in my garage.
I injected my lips with axle grease and performed other procedures on my face a
with a scalpel. Looking back on the whole experience I suppose I was a bit hasty
and should have consulted a professional before I attempted these procedures on
myself, but I was so desperate to look 'normal'. I know you are highly regarded
in your profession and it wont be cheap, but do you think you could put my
mistakes right? The biggest problem I have at he moment is talking and eating,
as the swelling in my lips has not gone down at all. I've tried sucking the axle grease
out with a syringe but the pain is unbearable. Hope to hear from you soon.
Dr. Skcollob replies Please please make it stop! What the
fuck is wrong with you people? I really didn't think I would receive another email
from such a totally self obsessed, vain idiot as yourself but of course you've
proved me wrong! I honestly don't think there are adequate words in the
English language to describe how I feel about reading your message. Your hideous
attempts at cosmetic surgery will need extensive and very expensive
reconstructive surgery. We're talking tens of thousands of pounds here sunshine
so you'd better get saving. The first thing to sort out will be your hilarious
attempt at botox on your lips, that's what I call a trout pout! -ha ha. In the
meantime, for fuck sake don't try anything else to put things right you ugly lunatic.
Finally a letter from a Mr.
Worried of Frinton
Dear Doctor Skcollob, I
enclose a picture of my condition. This came on after I received my first
'blowjob' - however I don't think the stupid tart knew what she was doing.
Will there be any lasting damage?
Dr. Skcollob replies
Well Mr. Worried that's one hell of a pair of balls you've got there, I bet you sure can spray some muck with those! That's
certainly one Blow Job you wont forget in a hurry, I very much doubt if the
swelling will ever go down, but hey, that wouldn't bother me too much
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Do you have an worrying medical question? Then let
Dr. Skcollob answer any query you may have free of charge.Don't
be embarrassed this man has seen it all!
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Skcollob receives many emails from worried people
everyday. He has therefore asked us to publish a selection of
the most common questions sent to him, so that
hopefully other readers will find them of use. Below
are some of the most recent medical quires he has
Dear doctor Skcollob,
I recently met up with a rather chunky lady in the
local town. Things progressed happily on our first
outing together, and as luck would have it she was
game (AKA desperate) for anything, so we strolled
down to the beach for some investigative work on
I now wish I had invested in your
Digi-Sniff and not
an I-pod, still, life is a learning curve so they
Anyway she went like a train and was open for almost
anything, (I may cover our exploits at a later date,
depending on the reply to my question). Fisting was
high on her agenda, and like any gentleman, I
Here comes the question: It was only the following
morning on waking to a rather miserable sky that I
noticed my watch was missing, now; it's a good one,
rated at 1000 Mtrs, so I rarely take it off. I can
only think that during our fisting rummage it
somehow came adrift from my wrist (it had a double
catch, so it didn't just fall off). She was let's
say a little on the wet side up there, so my wrist
to elbow may have been liberally coated in something
that would possibly register in excess of 85 on the
Digi-Sniff, anyway I digress, back to the question.
How would you make contact with a lady with whom you
took liberties on a star lit beach overlooking
Sheppey and ask her if she; or someone else, had
come across a Tissot watch lurking at the back of
If you can think of a suitable way of bringing this
up with the said lady on my behalf, I would be
I will of course supply her name and address if you
agree to undertake this small request on my behalf.
Name withheld to protect image
Dear doctor Skcollob, Iím newly married and my wife has very loose
breasts. Basically she's thin. i wanted to know what could be the reason of loose breasts. what i believed till
now is, when a boy or girl herself presses them , they slowly get loose. but it could be because of thin
body also. she has been wearing bras since the age of 15 yrs.
one more thing, she has some white secretion from vagina sometimes. (more than 2-3 times a week). is there a chance that she's suffering from lukorrhea?
if it is so, what could be the reasons of lukorrhea. I donít think she's unfaithful because enough blood
came from her vagina on our first night. Doctor, you'll be helping me a lot to fix my troubled mind in case you answer my question. please satisfy my query. Thanks
Dr can you help i am a man wanting to be a women and
have been reading your web page i live in Tenerife
where I can buy tablets etc over the counter can
you please advise what tablets i should be taking to
start to grow breasts and give me a good figure
Any other advice would be grateful thank you for your help and look forward to hearing
from you soon .p.
Dear Doctor, I need your help, I have a problem and I find this
difficult to carry on with this disturbing me night
I travel to Ghana in the middle of last year,
however before I went I made a trip to my doctor to
ascertain if I needed any other medication apart
from Malaria Tablets, and to obtain other medication
for other medical problems I had. The doctor whom I
now no to be a locum decided I did not need anything
else to travel to Ghana but Malaria Tablets and I
On returning from Ghana after a month stay, within
about two weeks I began to feel ill the symptoms
were spike fevers, headache, double vision, constant
sweating, heavy bleeding which looked like large
liver pieces, loss of appetite, continual
hallucinating, headache, severe joint pains,
expansion of my womb and weight loss. incontinence
after their removed the catheter. The doctors took
some time to diagnose the problem and gave me
paracetamal for the fever, by this time I was
admitted to the high dependency unit, my condition
was realty bad no one believed I would make it, not
even the doctors. The doctors finally found out that
I had hepatitis A, by then I had loss three quarters
of my liver.
The Liver is regenerating but I am left sleeping
twenty hours per day, severe joint pain, which is so
bad I have to be using a walking stick, the worst
joint pain in the right shoulder which at times I
cannot move the arm, irregular bleeding, urine
incontinence, double vision, headaches, feeling very
depressed and hallucination. I went trough a series
of blood test and also a ct scan of the bran, I am
now been told I have to go for a MRI scan as its
believes from the Ct scan the pituitary gland as
raised, I am now told I may have adenoid tumours in
the brain. I realty feel ill and would like to no
the following information if you can find this out
all the symptoms I describe connected to each other? 2. Can hepatitis A trigger the raising of the
pituitary gland, or cause tumours in the brain, and
cause severe bleeding? 3. why do I sleep twenty hours per day? 4. How can I prevent this sleeping? 5. what causes all the Joint pain I am experiencing? 6. what is the reason for the incontinence and
irregular bleeding? 7. what is the time span for all what I am
experiencing to stop? 8. How serious is adenoid tumours?
I now found out that I could have had a ten year
vaccine for hepitist A which could have prevented
this condition, I am so angry it hurts, I need to
talk to someone before I explode with the pain I am
undergoing, I no you do not deal with medical
problem but it must be said that if people are not
told about this vaccine a lot more lives will be
I must also say before I went to Ghana I was
perfectly ok in terms of my health, and was about to
start a new job at the end of the month.
I understand the doctor as since being suspended
from duty until 2005 for other medical malpractice's
but that dose not stop me from feeling low and
really hurt, I have no where or no one to turn to
for help and you seem to be my only hope, this story
as a lot more to it but I will be unable to say more
at this present time as my eyes are closing yet
again, after sleeping for sixteen hours, and just
waking up about one hour I have to go back to bed, I
feel like a dead person trapped in a living body
sleeping almost round the clock.
Please Doctor help me, Ja
Dear DR. I have been dreaming about having a sex
change all my life for you see I was born a male but
deep down inside me I know I was supposed to be a
female.Can you please tell me what I need to do to get
started? I know I'm a women trapped in a mans body because I
love cock to much and straight men really turn me
on. PLEASE RESPOND A.S.A.P.THANK
YOU DR. BILLY
hi my name is Doug i live in calgary aberta Canada i
would like to no if u can help me i am trying to
find the price of a sex change are they all the
same price and how long dose it take and how to heal
and would i need to say in the hospital for a bit to
make sure everything is running if u can help grate
I m a normai girl aged 24.the prob is tht i feel i
am born in a wrong body.im very much like a boy.i
think like a boy, dress like a boy and even behave
like a boy. i m attracted toward girls. living like a girl is
very depressing for me. its been more than 15yrs tht
i feel like this. i m not comfortable in the society
as i want to be a man.
so have decided on a sex change operation. could i
pls have some more details on this. i m an indian citizen currently working in the uk in
pls get back to me at ur earliest.
thanking you S.F.Patel
Dear doctor Skcollob I developed swelling at the base of my penis due to
injury. I tripped myself on the carpet atnight and directly collided on the sofa and even
experience a clicking sound at the time of collision
at the penis. As a consequence, it has gotten excessively large
(swelling). I am worried because of this.
Would you please advise me what to do about it?
Could you please tell me some details on Chyme
injections. What are they please, and what are the
benefits? Are they very painful and what after treatment is
administered? Thank you David
Dear doctor Skcollob bit of a problem, when me and my other half are
gettin' it on she says my cock is too big for her
pussy,is this logical? I mean I'm only 9" long,
should i just go off and masturbate by myself over a
picture of her?
dear doc, i have been depressed for 2 years since i was 14 i
am now 16 and still depressed i have waited a long time for a sex change
but i am a female wanted to be a male and i was wondering if u did to
female to male surgery if not do you know where i could have it done
miss webb in Cornwall
What's up doc.me and ma.....girl,recently decided
for her 2 get a sex change opperation(m 2 f)and we wanted 2 know what
tha after afects are going 2 be.thanks --ya_boy_six
Doctor please help me! After 43 years I have finally
managed to get a date from an online dating site.
Only trouble is I told my date I was 10st 4lb and I
actually weigh a little more than that. Can you help
me? I need to loose the weight before Saturday
night. I went out and bought a size 36 outfit in
anticipation. Any help would be appreciated Doc.
Mrs S Marsh of West Yorkshire
After years of denying my sexuality I would like to
go ahead with a sex change.
What homerones do I need to take and what dosage?
before my penis is removed. Could I have breast
implants and waist liposuction at the same time
trying to get some info. on foreskin restoration.
I have urethra stricture and my current urologist
wants to do reconstruct surgery on me. That
concerns me it only a 90% chance it working. I more
toward just getting a sex change. Is there a
possible way that the stricture will not return this
way? If so do you have a office in or around the
Houston Texas area or a office you can recommend me
Skcollob I am 19 years old and have wanted to be a
woman for years and have been a bit scared to think
what the operation entails or if it is even safe. I
want to get the full operation done ( boobs, vagina
surgery, the whole treatment to make me look like a
full and real woman. I just want to know how much it
costs and what the cost is of getting it done in my
own home. I was also wondering how much do the
hormone tablets change your features thank you for
taking the time to read this email.
My name is John, I'm 18 years old.
Ever since from the age of 6 I've always felt
uncomfortable with having my penis, I'd find it
really uncomfortable and feel really upset... So
what i was wondering doctor is if there would be a
chance that I could have surgery sometime in the
future too have a vagina instead of a penis. A lot
of days I am never normally happy if I am happy I
just pretend i am, i just deal with the upset
But the only problem is doctor is that i don't want
too actually become a transsexual women and one
surgery i contacted in Thailand said that he
couldn't do the surgery because they only do it for
transsexuals only... so really this does actually
leave me in a bit of a position that is difficult..
Any advice you can give me doctor would be really
good.. I am still chatting too friends and family at
the moment, i just could do with some advice i can
have that will help me with making my choice..
Thanks for taking the time too read this message
Skcollob. I'm a 19 year old male too female
transexual. I saw my psycotrist on the Monday 5th
October 09 and he is refering me too a gender clinic
in London for hormone treatment and possibly
He said its in London but i dont know which one it
is. I'm sure i'm going too be under the national
health do you come under that or?. Because iam
confused at which clinic in London it is that i'm
actully going too.
So i was kinda hoping you'd be able too help me out
And i have saw some of your prices for surgery, i
was wondering how much is a male too female (vaginoplasty)
operation going too cost if i went privite?. I think
iam gonna wait on the national health but i was
wondering in genural how much it would cost privite?.
Thanks very much.
Please email me back if its possible.
how much will it cost to remove my penis &
testicles. I don't want a pussy I just want a nice
shape I hate my penis & testicles . Please can you
help me Dave of Leicester
Do you have an worrying medical question? Then let
Dr. Skcollob answer any query you may have free of charge.Don't be embarrassed this man has seen it all!
Mail the Doc