Here at Skcollob Life Insurance we offer the best cover of any provider in the market place. Our policies are custom tailored to your unique specification, so you are guaranteed to have the best possible protection available today. Your loved ones will have the peace of mind, that when you finally shuffle off this mortall coile, they’ll have plenty of cash left over to not only give you a good send-off, but there will be enough left in the pot to throw a good party in your memory too. Our cover starts at just £99* per month
Company terms and conditions: Whilst little care is taken to describe our insurance policies in an accurate and honest way, some terms and charges may differ from the advertised description. Although the terms of our policies are checked periodically by an independent financial ombudsman, we cannot guarantee these products will be free of any rather unpleasant hidden costs to you. ** All payments made are charged an interest fee of 37% All payments made are based on a lifetime contract and cannot be cancelled under any circumstances. Your home and health could be at risk if payments are missed. *A deposit of £1000 is required before we can approve your insurance policy. This initial payment also covers the cost of your medical check-up at the Betty Hubbard Clinic and a free pen. A small (non-refundable) processing fee of £18.49 is added to your insurance application to cover administration costs. The Betty Hubbard Clinic and Doctor Skcollob take no responsibility for any misguided decisions you may make when taking out a life insurance policy with us. Please allow up to 128 days from the date of your application for cover to start and any policy documents to be delivered to your address. Self-inflicted ailments, such as suicide, smoking related diseases and AIDS are exempt from pay-out. We reserve the right to sell or publish the names, bank information and any other personal details of our customers to third parties. Please note that death is not a guaranteed reason for us to us pay-out on your claim. The amount you receive upon your death may be considerably lower than the total amount paid in. The information contained in this site does not constitute legal, commercial or professional advice and must not be relied on as such.
FAQ’s WHAT LIFE INSURANCE DO YOU OFFER? We offer cover of between £1,000 to £25,000 with fixed monthly payments starting at just £99 HOW DO YOU WORK OUT MY PAYMENTS? In the first instance we require you to have a mandatory, fully intrusive medical check-up at the Betty Hubbard Clinic. Please note that this check-up will include anal, urethral and vaginal examinations. We require blood and semen samples that we keep on file for 25 years from the date of extraction. We then consider your general health condition and create your monthly payment plan accordingly. Cover starts at £99 per month but can raise to a considerably higher amount depending on your state of health. Please note that some plans can be as high as £1000 per month. WILL I HAVE TO ANSWER ANY EMBARRASSING HEALTH QUESTIONS? Yes. You will also be asked personal questions relating to your eating habits, sexual preferences and activity. WILL YOU BE MAKING A CREDIT CHECK ON ME? Yes. We’d be mad not to. WILL I NEED TO SEND IN EXTRA PAPERWORK? Yes. We require your bank statements for the last 12 months, a copy of your birth certificate and passport, plus the deeds of your house. If your payments are more than £99 per month, we also require a spare set of keys to your house and car. WHAT HAPPENS IF I CANNOT KEEP UP WITH MY REPAYMENTS? In the first instance we will send you numerous threatening letters demanding you repay the outstanding money owed to us. If the money owed is still not repaid in full after 28 days from the receipt of the last letter sent to you, then our team of highly skilled debt collectors is sent to your house to gently persuade you (at gunpoint) to repay the outstanding debt. Your name, address and photograph are then added to our blacklisted insolvents webpage. You then have a further 28 days to repay the loan in full. If the money owed is not fully repaid after this time, you are evicted from your house and the property is duly sold at auction to cover the outstanding debt owed to us and numerous other fees you will subsequently be liable for.
“I thought I’d get myself this cover as I thought that one day I might die, and I wouldn’t have nobody to bury me and give me a good send-off down the pub like. Doctor Skcollob done all the paperwork for me and said that I didn’t have nothing to worry about.” Billy Crapjam - London
“At less than 100 quid per month this is great value. Well, doctor Skcollob told me it were so I done it” Kieth Cumonarat - Great Yarmouth
we will stick this up your arse
When you take out a Skcollob Health insurance policy we guarantee you will only have a minimal intrusion medical examination to determine your general health status.
a fool and his money are soon parted
Cover is subject to status and only available to UK residents aged 18 and over. Skcollob Life Insurance is the trading name of The Betty Hubbard Clinic Limited.
• Fixed premiums - Your premiums won't go up**, unless you alter your policy, or your health deteriorates dramatically, so you'll always know how much you're paying. • Critical illness cover - Can be added at an additional cost when taking out life cover. It could pay out a cash sum if you're diagnosed with or undergo a medical procedure for one of the specified critical illnesses covered during the length of your policy and survive for 36 months from diagnosis.
“I shopped around for ages trying to find the right cover. I chose this one because you get a free pen.” Terry Pigflaps - Coventry
“This cover looks great, but I suppose I won’t know how good it is until I die. I just hope I can trust them to pay-out when I finally pop my clogs.” Marmaduke Titspanner – Birmingham
“Doctor Skcollob and his team were so charming. They made me feel so at ease as I handed over my life savings to pay for my cover” Elsie Cocksocks – Norwich
Help spread the cost of your life insurance cover with a Clantoot credit card. Apply here
The Betty Hubbard Clinic is part of The Machine that goes ping group of companies