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The Betty Hubbard Clinic is part of The Machine that goes ping group of companies
Here at the Betty Hubbard Clinic we have been at the forefront of Medical innovation since 1903 when we pioneered the World’s first Sex Change operation. Many people cannot conceive and are desperate to have a baby due to many different medical, or psychological reasons. Now, thanks to years of research at the Betty Hubbard Clinic, it is now possible to make your dreams come true. Imagine the look on your friends faces, they wont believe the fact that you have a unique and wonderful designer child. We are the only clinic in the world to offer this procedure. Using specially created genetic engineering and specialist cloning techniques, our aim is to provide you with a comprehensive and flexible service of the highest standard using the latest fertility techniques and minimal invasive gynaecological surgery, including the use of lasers and uniquely blended chemicals. Our techniques are so safe and predictable that we can even offer you the choice of hair colour for your child (not available in ginger) Plus, unlike other fertility treatments your specially designed baby will share 97.6 percent of you and your partner’s DNA.
Procedures carried out at The Betty Hubbard Clinic or your own home. Best price guaranteed or we’ll give you twice the difference. You’ll be In and out of the clinic in only one day. Totally safe* procedure using the latest surgery techniques and equipment.
With our special unique DNA bonding treatment your baby will be as unique as you are.
This procedure is still in its infancy, so therefore results can sometimes be unpredictable with rather unsightly looking babies being born. As such, no refunds can be given. These procedures may cause heavy internal bleeding, first-degree burns, anal tearing, memory loss, excessive flatulence, diarrhoea and many, yet undiscovered side-effects. Do not rely on this process totally as it has been known to cause serious health problems such as death. Please consult your doctor before committing yourself to any unproven medical procedures or taking any untested or unlicensed medication. Please note that our mandatory health insurance premium of £1000 is required before we can carry out any procedure. A small fee of £49 to cover administration costs is required from patients before any consultation or procedure can be carried out. The Betty Hubbard Clinic shall take no responsibility for the misuse of any equipment used by us due to insufficient staff training. We sometimes find it necessary to perform emergency operations on certain patients due to circumstances beyond our control. In these situations, any surgical waste is used in our meat products without the express permission of the individual concerned. We show little respect for your personal information and your privacy and will share or sell your information to other organisations or the highest bidder. The information contained in this site does not constitute legal, commercial or professional advice and must not be relied on as such. Please consult your physician before making any healthcare decisions or for guidance about a specific medical condition you ignorant twats. The Betty Hubbard Clinic expressly disclaims responsibility, and shall have no liability, for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffered as a result of your misguided reliance on the information contained in this site. The Betty Hubbard Clinic does not endorse specifically any test, treatment, or procedure mentioned on this site. There is a small (58%) chance that the fertility procedure will leave you with permanent scarring, tissue reduction, weeping puss filled cavities and other rather unpleasant side-effects. Please be aware that the technology used for these procedures is still in it's infancy. Please send us all your money.
We know that medical procedures such at this can be costly and difficult to afford for some people. This is why we have teamed-up with two credit companies to help spread the cost of your procedures. Choose a Payment plan from Skcollob Loans or a Clantoot credit card here.
Why do people rely on us to create their designer baby?
We could tell you that our designer baby service is the best in the business, but in the end nothing matters more than what you our valued customers think. Below are just a few of your comments. “At 59, my doctor told me I were too old to have a kid, so I’ve sold my house and most of my belongings to pay for this baby. I cant wait to hold the little cherub in my hands” Mary Clunge – Jaywick “I was in agony after having my womb and other lady bits cut off after a botched surgical procedure. I thought it would be impossible to have a baby, but thanks to Doctor Skcollob, I will soon have the baby of my dreams” Doris Kunt - Cardiff “Me and the wife couldn’t have no kids as the doctor told me that I were shooting blanks. We took out one of them Skcollob loans to pay for a kid as the wife really wanted one. We will be paying back the money for the rest of our lives, but i think it will be worth it as we got a really nice little baby now.” Billy Crapjam, London “The doctors told I that I were too fat to have a kid as I couldn’t get pregnant no matter how man blokes I shagged. I had this treatment done and now I have a nice little baby” Hilda Gland - Bristol
We are extremely proud to announce that the Betty Hubbard Clinic, with the invaluable help of the World famous Doctor Skcollob, have recently won the prestigious - Medical Society of Great Britain, best genetic modification in the field of human development award.
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Choice of hair colour Easy painless procedure Totally safe Predictable results Results in only 9 months Developed by top scientists
Why do people rely on us to create their designer baby?
Here’s how it works.
Firstly DNA and other bodily fluids are extracted from both potential parents at the Betty Hubbard Clinic. The fluids are then blended in tubes and mixed with our secret combination of chemicals and aborted foetal cells then left to ferment for 14 weeks until the foetus starts to develop. The foetus is then transferred to our specially developed incubator where it is left to grow for a further 25 weeks, suspended in a nourishing jelly-like substance. After this time the baby is ready to be ‘born’ and handed to the delighted parents.
Here is just a small selection of the wonderful babies we’ve created so far. Book an appointment with us now to get your very own designer baby.
Take a look at the large range of medical products and services offered at the Betty Hubbard Clinic. From felch pumps to a full-blown sex change operation we’ve got every product and procedure you could possible want at prices you will not believe.