Listed below is a selection of the fine exotic ingredients we use in all our meals: Poached baby stoat pieces, Devilled monkey spleen in aspic jelly, Flaked Tunisian Guppy, Lard, Pickled Love eggs, Diced Feline, Lark's vomit, Bison Trotters, Brown Nosed Mullet, Soured Mexican tree frog essence, Rhino Smegma, Liquidized Hog's bladders in brine, Ant's Eggs, Skcollob Sausage, Helmet Cheese, Squid's giblets, Turkey Leakage, KY Jellied Eels, Extrusion of pummelled Yak Twats, Extract of Rodent, Love Custard, filleted Canine, Badger cock, Minge Mustard, Cable Gravy, Fanny Batter, monkey brain, chicken's feet, sliced Sootikin, Brake Fluid, Ginger, Rice, Salt. All our meals are prepared by Our talented Chefs: Chris Peacock, Pat Mc Crotch,Harry Sachs, Paul Skinback,Isaac Hunt and Keith Cumonarat (pictured)
Meat Dishes 1. Bol Oxs Hot Meat Balls 2. Sur Kum Sihz Sausage Slices 3. Hol Mein Kok Scrag end encased in ladies fingers 4. Kok Sor Rolled Pork fillets rubbed in Chile powder. 5. Eja Ku Laite Shaft of Mutton in White cream sauce. 6. Long Dik Coq in Van. Vegetables 8. Wan Kin Bamboo Shoots. 9. Pei Sof Chinese Leaves 10. Wot Kung Fu Dat Tossed Salad. 11. Sik In Lu Sweet and sour in hot sauce 12. Pu Bik Young Sprouts 13. Hoo Kum On Mat Thick white sauce on rye bread. Sauces 14. Pei Sol Cantonese Drippings. 15. Sei Men Drip Delicately flavoured white sauce. 16. Yu Kum Hot Custard. 17. Hu Lade Turd Brown Sauce with nuts. 18. Fan Tam Ar Sol Brown Sauce without nuts. Specialities Of The House 19. Lik Mein Plate of the Day. 20. Munth Lei Popular dish of the period. 21. Kow Poo Savoury Pancakes. 22. Bo Gee Pick of the week. Desserts 23. Vee Dee Spotted Dick. 24. Kum In You Cream Squirt. 25. Yu Pong Crap Suzette. 26. Kum Lots Extra Portion of cream. 27. Ars Pik Chocolate fingers. 28. Hoo Shat In Fan Chocolate Spread. 29. Or Jee Chinese stuffing on a bed of Mandarins 30. Es Ki Mo Kum Frosted Banana cream. 31. Tu Tun On Goo Lies Crushed Nuts. 32. Wun Hun Low Mixed Nuts. 33. Di Rere Chinese afters in brown sauce. 34. Hu Pong Chinese Snifters. 35. Kwik Wank Cream Slice. New Dishes Sum Yun Chick Chu Sum Twat Suc Mi Pork Fuc yu Man Goo in Hand Goo we Chick Cum Too Soon Suc Mi Wang Sum Dum Chick Lik Mi Clit Cho Kon It Fuc Som Now Sum Gulp Cum Tor Soff Ho Mo Hoo Pong In Kar See
*Please allow 28 days delivery for all meals
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Proprietors: Sum Ting Wong, Wan Kin Gai & Suk Mi Rim
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Welcome to The New Site of The Weird online Chinese Takeaway Service.
Different and delicious Dinner parties for three or more Chef's special Specialty of the house For those dining alone Sloppy Seconds Order early these go fast Traditional Chinese Meat Loaf Ideal for Essex Girls Oriental delicacy Not for the light hearted For those in a hurry Low calorie diet special Hand-made thick white sauce Sausage surprise Yellow rice with meat droppings
“I cant get enough of these meals as I fucking love Chinese food. I’ve tried the whole menu now and it’s all delicious I can tell you. My kids love the dishes too, it’s all the little buggers will eat now.” Betty Smork, Brighton
“I found a pig’s foreskin in one of the meals I ordered and nearly swallowed it. Them people at Wok the Fok were really good though. They sent me out another meal without no pig’s bits in it for half price.” Clinton Dennison, Leeds
“After reading in my local paper that my usual takeaway had been prosecuted for killing, cooking and serving an Alsation dog in their restaurant, I thought I’d give these meals a go. I’m glad I did as they are simply delicious and full of meaty goodness.” Derek Kunt, Norwich
“I just love these meals, I eat about six of them a day with chips, bread and butter and cake - simply delicious” Freda Wallace, Yorkshire
Warning: These meals may cause heavy internal bleeding, memory loss, excessive flatulence, diarrhoea and many, yet undiscovered side-effects. Do not consume more than five meals in any 24 hour period, as this may cause serious health problems such as death. Please consult your doctor before taking any untested or unlicensed takeaway meals. Please note that heating these meals in a microwave for more than the recommended time may cause the product to explode, showering the surrounding area with scolding hot liquid, causing serious burns.
Suc Mi Pork - Chef’s Special Dish made with our delicious ingredients