Welcome to The New Site of The Weird online Chinese Takeaway Service
Great meals from our top Chefs delivered straight to your door *

wok the fok Chinese delicacies


All our meals are prepared by Our talented Chefs: Chris Peacock, Pat Mc Crotch, Harry Sachs, Paul Skinback & Isaac Hunt

Listed below is a selection of the fine exotic ingredients we use in all our meals:

Poached baby stoat pieces, Devilled monkey spleen in aspic jelly, Flaked Tunisian Guppy, Lard, Pickled Love eggs, Diced Feline, Lark's vomit, Bison Trotters, Brown Nosed Mullet, Soured Mexican tree frog essence, Rhino Smegma, Liquidized Hog's bladders in brine, Ant's Eggs, Helmet Cheese, Squid's giblets, Turkey Leakage, KY Jellied Eels, Extrusion of pummelled Yak's Twats, Extract of Rodent, Love Custard, filleted Canine, Badger cock, Minge Mustard, Cable Gravy, Fanny Batter, monkey brain, chicken's feet, sliced Sootikin, Brake Fluid, Ginger, Salt.

Meat Dishes

1. Bol Oxs  Hot Meat Balls
2. Sur Kum Sihz  Sausage Slices
3. Hol Mein Kok  

Scrag end encased in ladies fingers

4. Kok Sor  

Rolled Pork fillets rubbed in Chile powder.

5. Eja Ku Laite Shaft of Mutton in White cream sauce.
6. Long Dik  Coq in Van.


8.   Wan Kin Bamboo Shoots.
9.   Pei Sof   Chinese Leaves
10. Wot Kung Fu Dat Tossed Salad.
11. Sik In Lu   Sweet and sour in hot sauce
12. Pu Bik Young Sprouts
13. Hoo Kum On Mat Thick white sauce on rye bread.


14. Pei Sol Cantonese Drippings.
15. Sei Men Drip  Delicately flavoured white sauce.
16. Yu Kum  Hot Custard.
17. Hu Lade Turd Brown Sauce with nuts.
18. Fan Tam Ar Sol Brown Sauce without nuts.


19. Lik Mein  Plate of the Day.
20. Munth LeiPopular dish of the period.
21. Kow Poo Savoury Pancakes.
22. Bo Gee Pick of the week.


23. Vee Dee Spotted Dick.
24. Kum In You Cream Squirt.
25. Yu Pong  Crap Suzette.
26. Kum Lots  Extra Portion of cream.
27. Ars Pik  Chocolate fingers.
28. Hoo Shat In Fan Chocolate Spread.
29. Or Jee Chinese stuffing on a bed of Mandarins
30. Es Ki Mo Kum  Frosted Banana cream.
31. Tu Tun On Goo Lies Crushed Nuts.
32. Wun Hun LowMixed Nuts.
33. Di Rere  Chinese afters in brown sauce.
34. Hu Pong  Chinese Snifters.
35. Kwik Wank Cream Slice.

New Dishes 

Sum Yun Chick   Different and delicious 
Chu Sum Twat Dinner parties for three or more
Suc Mi Pork  Chef's special
Fuc yu Man Specialty of the house
Goo in Hand  For those dining alone 
Goo we Chick  Sloppy Seconds (No charge)
Cum Too Soon Order early these go fast
Suc Mi Wang  Traditional Chinese Meat Loaf
Sum Dum Chick  Ideal for Essex Girls
Lik Mi Clit Oriental delicacy 
Cho Kon It Not for the light hearted 
Fuc Som Now For those in a hurry 
Sum Gulp Cum Low calorie diet special 
Tor SoffHand-made thick white sauce
Ho MoSausage surprise
Hoo Pong In Kar SeeYellow rice with meat droppings

Proprietors: Sum Ting Wong, Wan Kin Gai & Suk Mi Rim

 * Please allow 28 days delivery for all meals

order your very own NSOTW T-Shirts, thongs, bags and stickers etc through our new online shop.

No copyright infringement is intended. All images, audio, and video clips featured on this site are the sole property of their respective owners