The Wavs  Page

But first, this Strange little story 

I get these strange pimples on my labia. If I let them go too
long without attention, they grow as large as an eraser on the
head of a pencil. But since I am not a contortionist, I require
the help of my husband to rid me of these things. The first
time I asked my husband to look at one, it was the size of a 
green pea. He found a needle, and inserted it just into the skin.
A small amount of puss attached itself to the tip of the pin.
I took it upon myself to squeeze the offending bump. Blood and
puss went everywhere. My husband being the pervert that he is,
licked up the whole mess.
I got a new one the other night. This time, it was near the
lower part of my vagina. This one was only the size of a small
pea. I let my husband have a go at me, and then at it. But
he came about a quart, so I kept oozing his man-juice while he
was trying to squeeze out my puss. But his fingers kept
slipping. Eventually he got it, but he refused to clean me up
like last time. I wonder why.

anon.   (I'm not surprised)

Strange !

But not quite so strange as this disturbing little story 


Two years ago, while working in the busy ER of a beach resort town, I was assigned as the triage nurse for the day. I would greet new patients, get a description of their problem, take their vital signs, and assign them a priority to be seen by the doctor. In the early morning hours of one summer day, two men walked into my office. I smiled and invited them to have a seat and tell me what the problem was. The patient looked embarrassed, and replied, "No thanks. I'd rather stand." His partner, however took a seat quietly. "What seems to be the problem?" I asked. The patient blushed, muttered a few words as if trying to decide exactly what to say. Finally he looked at me and said, "I may as well tell you straight out. I've got a dildo up my ass." Gentle Readers, I assure you, I did not so much as crack a smile. Although I will admit, it was a struggle not to. "And was this consensual?" I asked, cautiously. I did need to be sure the man had not been raped. "Oh, yes," he replied, glancing at his partner. "It was definitely consensual." I asked him how large the object was ("object", or "foreign body" in medical lingo, is anything in the human body that's not supposed to be there). "Twelve inches," he replied. After getting his vitals, I told him and his partner to wait in the waiting room, and I'd get them in as soon as possible. I then went to the nurses station and handed the doctor the man's chart. Needless to say, the entire staff was incredulous at what I reported to them.

The doctor ordered an immediate x-ray, which showed the object to be a full 18 inches in length. To give you an idea how big is really was, the object stretched from the man's anus, halfway across his transverse colon (to about where his belly button is). The doctor tried to remove the object digitally, which is to say, he stuck his (gloved!) fingers into the guy's ass to try and grab onto the dildo. Unfortunately, it kept slipping out of his grasp. A surgeon had to be called in. The surgeon had to use a sigmoidscope to view the object, and grab it with a special tool in order to remove it. That's when we found out it was double headed. Imagine if you will the camera as it plunges into a man's anus, to be greeting by a portion of human anatomy in a decidedly odd location. Oh, and by the way. The patient is (or was) a practicing dentist, and told us he has AIDS. 

Pleasant dreams.


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